I'm Back!!!

It's been over a year since I abandoned this blog. Perhaps "abandoned" is not the correct word. Let's say the issues of life, including grad school, have usurped my time. I'm happy to say, at this juncture, I am now entering my last semester in the Master of Arts in Teaching (MAT) program with the University of Southern California. Additionally, I have a new granddaughter who is now 17 months-old. This little darling (aka the busybody) has occupied the majority of my time for the past year because my daughter, her mom, has been on deployment in Afghanistan. Hubby and I have been her caregivers. By the way, if there are any typos in this post, let's blame her. She is presently in my lap insisting she "help" me type. Finally, last semester I started teaching developmental writing at a local community college. It was a wonderful opportunity, and I look forward to continuing this semester.

Updates in brief

As in my previous hiatuuses between posts much has happend. Most importantly, I successfully completed my undergraduate career and graduated summa cum laude. Yay! Secondly, I was accepted into the September cohort entering the Master of Teaching program at the University of Southern California. This is an online program. Therefore, it will not require my moving - trading sunny Florida for sunny Cali.

So far, job prospects are not as bright. I have filled out several applications for various teaching/tutoring jobs, and so far have had only one interview. I am still waiting to hear the results of that. Welcome to the real world! Somehow, I thought that finding a job would be a lot easier after obtaining a bachelor's degree, given I always seemed to quickly obtain interviews and jobs in the past. Hubby continues to be encouraging and constantly reminds me that my path is divinely mapped - what is for me will be mine, at the appropriate time.

On another note, our family has been preparing for the birth of our fourth grandchild - my first biological grandchild. I'm sure upon her arrival I will have a lot to post. :)

Thanks Ben Franklin

Daylight Saving Time or DST officially began this year at 2:00 a.m., this past Sunday. All the yawns around me attest to the fact that most of us have not gotten use to the time change yet and probably won't until a few weeks from now.

Personally I enjoy DST; I just don't like the "spring forward" and the "fall back." In my opinion, we should just leave the clocks set an hour ahead and never turn back. It's the backward and forward notion of time that gets to me. As one who wakes at the same time each morning, just before the alarm, my internal clock goes out of wack twice each year.

Thanks, Ben Franklin, for providing more enjoyable daylight hours each evening and screwing up my internal clock with the transition of an hour.

Boomers: Is 50 the New 30?

The following article and other incidences have got me thinking. My perspective on the matter of age comes purely from where I stand - squarely in the over-50 group. I agree, 50 is the new 30. As a person who exercises each day and eats sensibly, I feel great and I am able to take on all the challenges set before me. In fact, I can even, figuritively and literally, run circles around a lot of individuals half my age. That however does not mean that ageism is not alive and well. I use to think that a degree, along with many years of experience, would put me in demand by employers. Unforturnately, vast years of experience and paper does not seem to matter. Age is the all encompassing factor.

With so many people living longer and healthier lives, Western society must begin to re-evaluate the place they assign to those over 50. Unlike many Eastern cultures who look to the elders as fountains of wisdom and anchors in society, Western culture tends to do just the opposite by limiting the contribution of the older generation.

Boomers, Is 50 the New 30?

Graduation

The Hidden "Me"

Free to Be Me

Well, it certainly has been awhile. At least one whole semester has come and gone since I last posted here. I am still however, relentless in my goal of completing my undergraduate degree. In fact I have one semester left before graduation.

Since last I posted here, I have lost a considerable amount of weight. I now wear a size 8 - down from the size 18 I wore 18 months ago. You might be thinking that the stress of taking 18+ credits a semester has finally taken its toll. To the contrary, my weight loss is due to completely changing my eating habits. I now limit my intake of sugar and processed foods. On the rare occasions when I do use sugar, I use raw or turbinado sugar.

I can hear what you're thinking - I have lost my mind and I am depriving myself. I can tell you however, that I do not feel deprived and I actually do not miss any of the sugary treats. I have replaced them with 100% whole grains, fruits and nuts. I am never hungry unless I am late eating a meal. Most of all though, I FEEL GREAT!

Now before someone out there succumbs to condemnation, my testimonial is not intended to point fingers, I realize that my new eating lifestyle is not for everyone. Therefore I am not advocating or trying to impose my new way of eating on others - and this brings me to another point. Just this afternoon, a friend posted on facebook, "My name is TRIUMPH! What's yours and a short description of why?" I gave it a thought, examined some of the other posts which listed,"Determined," "Victorious," etc., then I realized, and posted the following:

My name is "Me"... happy with who I am. I was given all the strength and ability I will ever need at birth. Everyday may not be great, but everyday I am happy with "Me." There is nothing I need to change - the good, bad or ugly, it is all a part of who I am. I just need to learn to better manage all the things that make me "Me."

The foregoing sums up my philosophy. In this journey I have become very comfortable with who I am. The weight loss is not the result of trying to make myself look like someone else. It has come as a result of living life on my own terms and accepting me for who I am - a book loving, wife, mother, grandmother, who does not always please people, nor live up to their expectations, but those who know me best, love me just the way I am.

Peace

The Year in Brief

The past year has been great, albeit hard work. I have had moments when I thought that I wasn't going to make my goal of getting all 'A's. As ridiculous as it seems to some, I want to graduate 'summa cum laude' in the Spring of 2011. That is my goal and I won't give up.

Summer school begins on Monday and I have had a good week's break. I'm ready!

Big Chill (as in Chillin)

Woohoo! Finals are finished and now it is time more some mind-numbing television, sleep and overall chillin (not necessaritly in that order). It has been a hard but good semester.

Wonk, Wonk...

As I listen I know I've heard that voice before, "Wonk, wonk... wonk wonk." Then it dawns on me with a sudden clarity, unlike the biology lecture I am enduring -- it's the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher. Doesn't this professor have any other gears? Her voice seems to be stuck in 2nd and at 8 a.m., less than a week post the time change 'Spring Forward', her lecture is too much. Thus, with the drone in my ears, I take an hour and a quarter nap. Hopefully I get the information via osmosis.

Just TMI!

OK, it's time to vent. My latest rant is about "cracks and backs". Yes, I'm talking about those hinder parts of people's anatomy that should remain private. I'm tired of walking around campus behind men who wear their pants completely under their behinds, revealing dingy underwear or worse, as they waddle like penguins down the sidewalk. Further, women are not exempt from my criticism. Women with ample "junk in the trunk" need not wear low-rise jeans that reveal deep flesh valleys. Don't they feel the breeze? It's the most disgusting thing in the world to be in class and have one of these individuals sit in front of you. Enough already people... TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

I'm Still Here...

Wow it has been 'a minute' since I made an entry here. To say my life is extreme is quite a bit of an understatement. Just when most of my peers are stepping toward the door of retirement, I have embarked (again) on one of the greatest challenges of my life.

The last few months have been crazy busy and I have wondered if I am going to be able to keep this pace up. However when that feeling comes over me I realize that I can't give up. Yesterday at work when I filled out my time-sheet for the last month, I realized that I unintentionally worked 2 hours short of full-time (avg. 40 hrs per week). I don't know how I managed, along with carrying 16 credit hours of course work. Something is going to have to give, but this time around it can't be school.

They say, "The definition of insanity is to do something the way you always have and expect different results." This is apropos to me; usually in the past when I have tried to work and go to school I have cut back on school in favor of work (always need the money)and end up being stuck in a dead-end job. Not this time... the insanity has stopped; I have to fulfill my dream. I have to scale back on work, even though I need the money and concentrate on school. I can't let my GPA suffer, I am applying to several PhD programs for Fall 2011. My goal is to forgo a masters program and enter directly into a doctoral program. Very competitive, but doable. I HAVE A PLAN!

I promise some lighter stuff will follow next post. Stay tuned...

Psyched!!

I mentioned sometime ago that I have been accepted into the honors program at Florida A&M - well my official acceptance letter arrived in the mail a week ago. I was 'psyched' to finally have it in writing.

Additionally part of the program completion requirements is to write a major thesis. This requires getting a faculty member to advise you through the process. I asked one of my favorite professors to be advisor and she said, "yes" - 'super psyched'.

Of to begin the year-long research and writing process!

Looking Back to Look Ahead

As we come to the end of the year and the end of the first decade of the new millennium, I think it is import to reflect on how far I have come. In 50 years I have accomplished a lot in many respects and not enough in others - but the point is I am making progress never-the-less.

This year has been a year of much introspection for me. I have come to terms with many things and relationships that have brought me many years of pain - that in itself is progress. Additionally I have decided once and for all to take the rudder of my boat and stop drifting along the river of my life. Full steam ahead!

Reflecting Again

The adage says, "You don't miss what you never had," or something along those lines. My philosophy however is slightly different. You might not miss 'it', but you might wonder what it would be like if you had 'it'. These thoughts frame my contemplation of holidays.

Having grown up with a mother who most years thought Christmas and other holidays were a bother, said, "Christmas is just another day," and who believed that other than feasting no other celebration was required, has caused me to wonder - What if?.

In later years while spending holidays with friends, I realized feasting is no fun without family and lots of friends. Thus I learned what I had been missed growing up. I wonder how much more my life would have been enriched if those memories had been created way back then.

Not Cocky, Just Thankful

I did it... I just passed each course with an 'A' and officially have a 4.0 GPA. Now before you think I am bragging - I'm not. I am extremely thankful. I am thankful because I am finally living up to my true potential.

For years I have spent my life living to other's expectations or should I say lack of expectations. As far back as I can remember I have been doing just enough to get by, just because I was waiting for someone to tell me it was ok to achieve. Those days are finally over.

I am also thankful to be able to fullfill the dream that I have always had - to be successful in college.

I'm celebrating... here's to the future...

Final Moive Presentation

As the final in Advanced Composition we were required to choose 2 of the three novels read in class, find 3 to 5 common themes and produce a movie. Here is my work...

Anticipation or Trepidation?

Exams are over... waiting for final grades. Anticipation or trepidation? I have confidence in an excellent result but I want to see it in print. I DON'T want to be disappointed.

All professors must have their grades in by noon on Monday. From there, I do not know how soon I will be able to view my grade online. I trust that it will be no later than Tuesday.

Anticipation or trepidation...?
[Alternating between drumming fingers on the desk and biting nails]

Cathartic It Aint...

I am usually never short of words -- either in speech or print. However at the moment I feel like I have a lot to express but somehow I can't get the words just right. Hm mm...[thought]. That's it -- words escape me. Words are like water right now. Words, like water I am watching flow through my hands as I try desperately to hold on. That's how my words are. Just like the water, I want to hold them, study them and make sense of them, but they are there for a quick moment and they are gone from my grasp.

I have 50 years worth of feelings that I want to purge from me... some good and a whole lot of bad and the words remain elusive...

Thankful for Thanksgiving

Just a little down time is what I required to recharge. Though I feel at home in, and love the academic environment of both school and work, I needed a little break. I have not been out of the house since Wednesday evening and have spent most of the time cooking, surfing the web and watching TV. "Some break, some holiday," you might say. It is however just what I needed.

Recently I have been concerned about finals and grades -- not that I am doing poorly. Quite to the contrary my grades are still good. I did however apply and was admitted into the honors program at the university and thus have added to the self-imposed academic pressure on myself.